You Didn’t “Lose It”, You’re Just Exhausted

And I think I know why.

Have you ever felt like you should be thankful? You should be happy? That you’re lucky, really.

And yet, you’re not progressing towards what you want, not in a meaningful way.

I’m lucky, I think to myself as I change my son’s diaper and discuss work with my husband, who’s getting ready to walk the dog. It’s 7 am.

I’m lucky because in an hour, the babysitter will be here and I’ll go to work. I’m lucky because she also agreed to come Friday evening so that we can go out with friends.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept an uninterrupted night sleep in forever, I don’t eat very well right now and every day, there’s a moment when I feel like I just want time to stand still for a while, because I can’t take it.

This feeling got me thinking.

You’re not productive because you’re tired. But why are you tired?

The first problem is that we don’t recognize — or don’t want to admit to ourselves — that there’s something more behind our tiredness. We think it’s just because we’re having a tough time at work, or that it won’t be like that when the kids grow up a little.