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Who Are You: My Best Friend’s Surprising Lesson.

You’re not really looking for love.

Maya Sayvanova
3 min readFeb 22, 2022
Photo by Pelageia Zelenina from Pexels

My best friend has sacrificed a lot to be with her husband.

They met when they were 16. Throughout their relationship, there are multiple things she gave up to stay with him. She wanted to study in one city but ended up in another — because of him. She wanted to work in the USA for a summer but didn’t — because of him.

Today, they have two children and a thriving business. They’re a happy family, and I can see how it was all worth it. But in my head, that’s too much to give up for a man. It’s like giving up your youth and what your youth is for—trying, exploring, following no one but yourself.

I’m a strong, decisive person, and I’d never give up things I really want for a man.

I’m a bold dream-pursuer, and my best friend simply isn’t. That’s fine. We’re different people.

Except we’re not.

Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.

“What we are looking for in relationships isn’t really love, it’s familiarity. And the exact same thing applies to friendship.” — Brianna Wiest, author of “101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think.”

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Maya Sayvanova
Maya Sayvanova

Written by Maya Sayvanova

6-Figure Writer | Featured in Business Insider & Metro UK | Helping solopreneurs succeed | Sign up here: https://rb.gy/jbwa8b

Responses (4)

What are your thoughts?

Great writing Maya. I disagree with the point which says you should not connect your life in a relatively early page with someone. In case you find the right person, you can thrive by supporting each other. It is the typical example of 1+1 more than…

What’s the advice you’d give to your loved ones?

I try to be as coherent as possible. But whenever I feel like a hypocrite, I mention it.

But in my head, that’s too much to give up for a man. It’s like giving up your youth and what your youth is for—trying, exploring, following no one but yourself.

This is where you took it to an extreme. Of course you should pursue your own things and not sacrifice everything for your partner. But don’t go to the other extreme and remain in toxic independence. Do you want a partner who supports you? Then you…