This makes me think that maybe we should just not communicate on an impulse at all.

Not that we shouldn’t share our feelings, but maybe give ourselves time to understand them, then talk to our partner.

When we had a rough patch and we fought, like, all the time, I started going out on walks before I say something I’ll regret later. During those walks, I thought things over and often it turned out that I was angry for a reason that was all me.

Like, I was feeling self-conscious about the book I was writing and how long it was taking me, and now his comment that “he only wanted to read it when it was ready” was, to me, a hit under the belt. It was like he didn’t even believe I’d finish it at all.

Then I went off on him about how busy I was and didn’t he appreciate what I was doing around the house, and at work, and it became this huge thing that started of just me having a problem with myself.

So now I try to communicate when I’m calm. It doesn’t always work, we are people and he’s my closest person in the world, and obviously we’ll fight from time to time, but things are much better.

Even when it’s about him, I manage to communicate it better and make him see reason.

So it’s been very helpful.

Thanks for sharing, Tara!