Member-only story
Stop Trying And Do It Now.
You know what I’m talking about.
Sometimes, I think of my 13 year old me.
The teen cooped up in her small, poorly furnished room, full of dreams.
I wonder how much time I spent in my room and how much time I spent in my head — planning, wanting, travelling, meeting the kind of people I read about in magazines.
How much time designing the future — a future to be lived as far as possible from where I was.
I dreamed of New York. It’s always been a symbol of freedom, success — in short, everything I wanted.
I dreamed of being rich enough to be able to do anything for my mom. We’d travel the world and live in neighbouring mansions.
I dreamed of having the chance to pursue anything. I couldn’t wait to be old enough, smart enough, strong enough.
Here I am, in my mid-30s, and I’m the opposite of what I’d wanted to be.
Not in a bad way. No, actually, in a good way. Instead of a place in New York, I have a beautiful three-bed home by the beach. Instead of spending all my time with my mom, I have my own kids, my own husband, my own life. So it’s all good.
What sucks is I’m stuck in the good. It’s good enough to stay here forever — trying for more but enjoying…