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Post-Divorce Advice From The Daughter of a Divorcee.
What I wish someone had told my mother.
It’s a strange age, 35.
I’ve been to a hundred weddings and met a hundred babies. I thought we were past the break-up conversations.
But just when you think you know what’s coming, life surprises you.
The break-up conversations came back, and this time, they’re more serious than ever. We’re not 20 anymore. Every break-up is divorce or feels like it. There are kids involved, documents to be re-issued, financial messes, peer pressure.
Sometimes I listen to my friends, and I can’t stop thinking about my mother. My poor, divorced twice mother. I never realized what she’s been through and how well she did. She was a great co-parent and withstood some serious bullshit with grace and dignity.
She did great, but I wish she would’ve done even better. Not for me, for her own sake. I wish she were happier, more confident, freer. Here’s what I’d tell her back then if I could — and what I tell all my separated girlfriends.
Your unrealized future with him is an illusion.
What if… He hadn’t cheated, you hadn’t found out, he hadn’t moved out, you had given him a bit more time.