Here’s the deal, Ellie.

First of all, thank you for sharing this. You write beautifully and I felt everything as if it had happened to me.

And similar things have.

Which is why I need to tell you the second of all, even though it may sound condescending and silly, and I can only hope you take it the right way.

You have to realize how fucking awesome you are.

And when you do, you’ll act like it.

When YOU are not getting something you need ( or even want) then YOU will leave.

You won’t give chances, you won’t worry about dying alone, because you’ll know that anyone would be lucky to have you.

And let me tell you something else about men.

When we’re young, they win at this thing called relationships. They win because they don’t care, and we care, and we end up chasing them, making them feel like Gods.

But the older men get, the more they realize what it means to have a woman in your life. A smart, sexy (not in a porn way), funny, good-hearted woman to greet them when they go back home, to give them children, to support them through the tough times.

Hell, George Clooney got married.

Trust me, they start to realize this. Some realize it sooner and some later, and others — right before it’s time to crack open their chest. But they always do.

What I’m trying to say is this — you will be loved and you will love, and one day you will look back and think how ridiculous it was to worry that much about the first love. The first love is like the first time you have sex. It’s exciting, but it’s also painful and uncomfortable, and anything but good for you.

I want you to walk proudly and to go for the relationship you want and nothing less.

I want you to leave men or let them leave you when you know in your heart of hearts that it’s not working.

I want you to love yourself.

I want you to adore yourself.

I want you to put yourself on a fucking pedestal.

No, it’s not selfish. It’s not being a “bitch”.

It’s being smart. It’s keeping your glass full. It’s putting your mask first before you can help others.

That’s what it is.

And maybe you’ve already realized this, but I thought I should write it anyway because other girls have not.

I had not, a decade ago.

And now, I have the relationship I’ve always wanted.

Which is why I know it’s the right thing to do.

And you look gorgeous!